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The chart below show the data of different people who visited in different countries.

The chart below show the data of different people who visited in different countries. BwpNm
The information about the percentage of the places visited by various individuals living in Canada is depicted by rendered bar graph. The data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, as it could be clearly seen, people who born in Canada and new migrants born in English speaking countries prefer to go cinema whilst New migrants born in other countries like to go library. To begin with, new migrants born in other countries are prefer to go cinema, a half. This increased by 10% for people who are new migrants in English speaking countries. After that, a large proportion shows interest for those who are native of Canada. However, new migrants born in other countries top the list in library, it accounted for just over a half. Than it dropped by 14% and 16% for new migrants in English speaking countries and people who born in Canada. Moving further, new migrants in English speaking countries are interested to visit zoo, it comprised a half. There was a gradual decrease observed in who born in Canada, it manifested for 42%. For people who are new migrants born in other countries dropped by a tiny fraction. People who like to visit theatre are merely 10%. Than it increased by 10% and 15% for those who born in Canada and for those who are new migrants in English speaking countries.
The information about the percentage of the places visited by various individuals living in Canada
is depicted
by rendered bar graph. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, as it could be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
born in Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prefer to go cinema whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like to go library.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
to go cinema, a half. This increased by 10% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. After that, a large proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
interest for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are native of Canada.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
top the list in library, it accounted for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half.
Did you mean "Then"?
Than
it dropped by 14% and 16% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
born in Canada.

Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are interested
to visit zoo, it comprised a half. There was a gradual decrease observed in
Did you mean "whom"?
who
born in Canada, it manifested for 42%. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
dropped by a tiny fraction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to visit
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
are
merely
10%.
Did you mean "Then"?
Than
it increased by 10% and 15% for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
born in Canada and for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS academic The chart below show the data of different people who visited in different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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