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THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ANNUAL NUMBER OF RENTAL AND SALES OF FILMS FROM APARTICULAR STORE BETWEEN 2002 AND 2011.

THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ANNUAL NUMBER OF RENTAL AND SALES OF FILMS FROM APARTICULAR STORE BETWEEN 2002 AND 2011. WgmJD
THE PROVIDED BAR GRAPH ILLUSTRATES DATA ABOUT THE NUMBER OF SALES AND RENTAL OF FILMS IN FOUR FORMATS, RENTAL, VHS, DVD AND BLU-RAY FROM SPECIFIC SHOP FROM 2002 TO 2011. OVERALL, THERE WERE A CONSIDERABLE DOWNWARD TREND IN RENTAL AND VHS, WHILE BLU-RAY EXPERIENCED A UPWARD TREND AND DVD FLUCTUATES IN GIVEN PERIOD. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, THE ANNUAL NUMBER OF RENTAL WAS ACCOUNTED FOR 185, 000, WHICH BEGIN TO NEGLIGIBLY FALL TO MERELY ABOVE 110, 000 IN 2008 AND IT FACED DRAMATIC DECREASE TO LESS THAN 60, 000 IN 2012, SIMILARLY, THE CONSUMPTION OF VHS STARTS FROM NEAR 85, 000 AND BEGIN TO DROP SLIGHTLY TILL 2005 AT EXACTLY 10, 000. THE BAR CHART FURTHER COLLATE THAT, IN 2002, THE SALES OF DVD WAS MERELY BELOW 50, 000 AND IT SKYROCKETED IN 2007 BY 210, 000 SALES. THEN IT START TO DECREASE SLIGHTLY TILL FINAL PERIOD AT EXACT 180, 000, LIKEWISE THE SALES OF BLU RAY COMMENCE IN THE YEAR 2007 AT LESS THAN 10, 000 AND IT REACHED THE POINT 10, 000 IN 2010. THEN, IT END AT AROUND 15, 000.
THE PROVIDED BAR GRAPH ILLUSTRATES DATA ABOUT THE NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SALES
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RENTAL
OF FILMS IN FOUR FORMATS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RENTAL
, VHS, DVD AND BLU-RAY FROM SPECIFIC SHOP FROM 2002 TO 2011.

OVERALL
, THERE WERE A CONSIDERABLE DOWNWARD TREND IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RENTAL
AND VHS, WHILE BLU-RAY EXPERIENCED A UPWARD TREND AND DVD FLUCTUATES IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, THE ANNUAL NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RENTAL
WAS ACCOUNTED
FOR 185, 000, WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
TO
NEGLIGIBLY
FALL TO
MERELY
ABOVE 110, 000 IN 2008 AND IT FACED DRAMATIC DECREASE TO LESS THAN 60, 000 IN 2012,
SIMILARLY
, THE CONSUMPTION OF VHS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTS
FROM NEAR 85, 000 AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
TO DROP
SLIGHTLY
TILL 2005 AT EXACTLY 10, 000.

THE BAR CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT, IN 2002, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SALES
OF DVD WAS
MERELY
BELOW 50, 000 AND IT SKYROCKETED IN 2007 BY 210, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SALES
. THEN IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
TO DECREASE
SLIGHTLY
TILL FINAL PERIOD AT EXACT 180, 000,
LIKEWISE
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SALES
OF BLU RAY COMMENCE IN THE YEAR 2007 AT LESS THAN 10, 000 AND IT REACHED THE POINT 10, 000 IN 2010. THEN, IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
AT AROUND 15, 000.
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IELTS academic THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE ANNUAL NUMBER OF RENTAL AND SALES OF FILMS FROM APARTICULAR STORE BETWEEN 2002 AND 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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