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The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. r8jwk
The given bar chart illustrates data about mortality and birth rates in Switzerland over a 50-years period (1970-2020), as reported to United Nations statistics. Overall, the statistics of birth rates increased noticeably, while the average of mortality declined in the given period. According to the graph, the number of birth rates maintained the same level prior to 1980 year, after which, grew slightly in 1990. After that, in the first year of XXI century, the figures showed a remarkable moderate growth and peaked at 2. 7 millions. In 2020, the number of bith rate illustrated the highest point and reached to 3. 2 millions. In 1970, the statistics of mortality stood at about a millions, while the figures increased markedly and showed the highest point in 1990. In the following years, the number of death declined moderately and peaked to 0. 7 millions in 2020. It was the lowest point over the given period.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates data about mortality and birth
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rates
in Switzerland over a 50-years period (1970-2020), as reported to United Nations statistics.

Overall
, the statistics of birth
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rates
increased
noticeably
, while the average of mortality declined in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

According to the graph, the number of birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
maintained the same level prior to 1980
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year
, after which, grew
slightly
in 1990. After that, in the
first
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year
of XXI century, the figures
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showed
a remarkable moderate growth and peaked at 2. 7 millions. In 2020, the number of
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bith
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rate
illustrated the highest point and reached to 3. 2 millions.

In 1970, the statistics of mortality stood at about
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a million" or simply "millions"?
a millions
, while the figures increased
markedly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest point in 1990. In the following years, the number of death declined
moderately
and peaked to 0. 7 millions in 2020. It was the lowest point over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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