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The changes in literacy rates in an African country between 1950 and 2010

The changes in literacy rates in an African country between 1950 and 2010 AJOgx
The bar charts indicate the variation of an African country in which citizens are able to read and write from 1950 to 2000. Overall, the average percentage of Afrikans’ knowledge is getting better through 60 years from 1950. In the 1950s, 40% of individuals aged from 41 to 60 years had the ability to read and write, furthermore, literacy rates in this age were the highest. Noticeably, in this region, the younger they were the less knowledgeable they were. Literacy rates in people who are 21 - 40 and 0 - 20 years old were at 35% and 25% respectively in the 1950s. As a result, the percentage of citizens aged 21 to 40 years was the lowest in the 1970s, besides, rates in the other groups were the same at 50%. Fortunately, the population aged 0 to 20 years could write and read, increasing to 80% in the 1990s, besides, more than 60% of citizens in all age groups had this ability. In the 2010s, the literacy level climbed spectacularly in the majority of citizens, 100% people who were 0 to 40 years old, being able to read and write. Especially, literacy rates for those aged 41 to 60 years were more than 90%. In conclusion, literacy levels rose over the years between 1950 and 2010 reflecting educational improvement.
The bar charts indicate the variation of an African country in which
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citizens
are able to
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read
and
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write
from 1950 to 2000.
Overall
, the average percentage of
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Afrikans
’ knowledge is getting better through 60 years from 1950.

In the 1950s, 40% of individuals
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aged
from 41 to 60 years had the ability to
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read
and
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write
,
furthermore
,
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literacy
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rates
in this age were the highest.
Noticeably
, in this region, the younger they were the less knowledgeable they were.
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Literacy
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rates
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
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21 - 40
and
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0 - 20
years
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old
were at 35% and 25%
respectively
in the 1950s.
As a result
, the percentage of
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citizens
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aged
21 to 40 years was the lowest in the 1970s,
besides
,
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rates
in the other groups were the same at 50%.

Fortunately
, the population
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aged
0 to 20 years could
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write
and
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read
, increasing to 80% in the 1990s,
besides
, more than 60% of
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citizens
in all age groups had this ability. In the 2010s, the
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literacy
level climbed
spectacularly
in the majority of
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citizens
, 100%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were 0 to 40 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, being able to
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read
and
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write
.
Especially
,
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literacy
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rates
for those
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aged
41 to 60 years were more than 90%.

In conclusion
,
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literacy
levels rose over the years between 1950 and 2010 reflecting educational improvement.
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IELTS academic The changes in literacy rates in an African country between 1950 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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