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The bar graph shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The bar graph shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. 7Np2
The given bar graph represents the proportion commodities in owner's house and of person who gave rent for residents in England and Wales in the period of 1918 to 2011. All the necessary information and relevant compressions are made in ensuing paragraphs. Overall, it can be observed that in the beginning of period lowest amount of products are owner's home, while highest percentage of households are their in rented home. However, to go to the ending years this was different and opposite of past. In the 1918, household in their house are very lowest, which is only above 20%, and near to 80% of having in rented accommodation. As years passed this ratio goes downwards and increment in persuite own things at home through the 1961. It was same in 1971 both the category has equal percentage, which was 50%. Moreover, after that proportion of items in rented houses are goes down in the period of 1981 to 2001 and sightly increased near to 40% in 2011. On the other hand percentage of commodities in own house steadily inclined nearly to 70% in 2001 and suddenly dropped above 60% in 2011.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph represents the proportion commodities in owner's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and of person who gave rent for residents in England and Wales in the period of 1918 to 2011. All the necessary information and relevant compressions
are made
in ensuing paragraphs.

Overall
, it can
be observed
that in the beginning of period lowest amount of products
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
owner's home, while highest percentage of households are their in rented home.
However
, to go to the ending years this was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and opposite of past.

In the 1918, household in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lowest, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
above 20%, and near to 80% of having in rented accommodation. As years passed this ratio goes downwards and increment in
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
things at home through the 1961. It was same in 1971 both the category has equal percentage, which was 50%.

Moreover
, after that proportion of items in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are goes down in the period of 1981 to 2001 and
sightly
increased near to 40% in 2011.
On the other hand
percentage of commodities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
steadily
inclined
nearly
to 70% in 2001 and
suddenly
dropped above 60% in 2011.

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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