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The bar graph shows the number of male and female students opting for various courses at UK University in 2011.

The bar graph shows the number of male and female students opting for various courses at UK University in 2011. x1kN
The bar graph shows the number of male and female students opting for various courses at UK University in 2011. The course range from languages to communication; from philosophy to History and art and design. The graph indicates that there is a balanced intake in all the offered courses except Philosophy which has highest gender ratio which has 1 male against 3 female students. On the other side, Art and Design is the only subject which has higher number of male students. English language and literature course has highest number of male and female students, summing more then 450. Along with it, two other courses Linguistics; and Communication and Media Stud attract large number of students from both gender sector. Art and Design has an medium intake of students approximately 375. Two courses, Philosophy; and History and Archeology has minimum number of students. The graph shows around 200 students opting for these courses. The bar graph indicates gender ratio for seven various professionals across UK in 2007. The graph indicates that majority of females opt for education domain followed by therapists. Firstly, based on the data reported for that particular year, women teaching staff constituted 90% of entire members, however, they consisted of more than 80% of therapists in the city. Secondly, the majority of men chose career in construction, followed by a scientist and advocate profession. For example, 90% of executives in construction and 60% in scientific laboratories were males. Nevertheless, Law was third preferred employment for them as they are more than 50% of total lawyers. To summarize, percentage of men in academic and therapy sectors was lesser than 20%. Next, advertising regime remains dominated by ladies with around 55% of women employees. Furthermore, journalism, for illustration had a balanced structure between both the sex, each sharing 50% of combined population. In conclusion, the proportion of female executives remained higher than male executive when the average for all the professions is considered. Overall, the percentage of female executives remained higher than male executive when the average for all the professions is considered.
The bar
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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number
of male and
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female
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students
opting for various
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courses
at UK University in 2011. The
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course
range from languages to communication; from philosophy to History and art and design.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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graph
indicates that there is a balanced intake in all the offered
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courses
except Philosophy which has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
gender ratio which has 1 male against 3
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. On the other side, Art and Design is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
subject which has higher
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number
of male
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students
. English language and literature
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course
has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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number
of male and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, summing more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
450. Along with it, two other
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courses
Linguistics; and Communication and Media Stud attract large
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number
of
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students
from both gender sector. Art and Design has
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
medium intake of
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students
approximately 375.

Two
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courses
, Philosophy; and History and Archeology has minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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students
. The
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
around 200
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students
opting for these courses.

The bar
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graph
indicates gender ratio for seven various professionals across UK in 2007.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
indicates that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
opt for education domain followed by therapists.
Firstly
, based on the data reported for that particular year, women teaching staff constituted 90% of entire members,
however
, they consisted of more than 80% of therapists in the city.

Secondly
, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
chose career in construction, followed by a scientist and advocate profession.
For example
, 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
in construction and 60% in scientific laboratories were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Nevertheless
, Law was third preferred employment for them as they are more than 50% of total lawyers.
To summarize
, percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in academic and therapy sectors was lesser than 20%.

Next
, advertising regime remains dominated by ladies with around 55% of women employees.
Furthermore
, journalism, for illustration had a balanced structure between both the sex, each sharing 50% of combined population.

In conclusion
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
remained higher than male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
when the average for all the professions
is considered
.

Overall
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executives
remained higher than male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
executive
when the average for all the professions
is considered
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the number of male and female students opting for various courses at UK University in 2011.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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