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The bar graph shows the monthly sales percentage in the year 2016 of a smart phone represented as product X.

The bar graph shows the monthly sales percentage in the year 2016 of a smart phone represented as product X. lPQw
The given bar graph represents information about the sales trends of a smart phone referred to as product X in 2016. Overall, It is clear that, the maximum proportion had been gradually increased in April month and while, the minimum percentage had been decreased in July month. On the one side, the highest proportion had been in sales by April month, that was 32% but after one month the percentage had been largely declined in sales by May month, that was only 8%. In addition, 17% percentage were plunged in sales by September month. However, after one month the proportion had been steady inclined in sales by october month, that was 20%. On the other hand, the proportion had been grew in sales by March, that was 17% but after quarter the percentage were very shrinked in sales trends by August, which was only 5%. Further more, in last month, the percentage had been slightly rose in sales by December month.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph represents information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
trends of a smart phone referred to as product X in 2016.
Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the maximum
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proportion
had been
gradually
increased in April
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month
and while, the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had
been decreased
in July
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
. On the one side, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
had been in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by April
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, that was 32%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had been
largely
declined in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by May
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8%.
In addition
, 17%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
were plunged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by September
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
However
, after one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
had been steady inclined in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
october
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, that was 20%.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
had been
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grew
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by March, that was 17%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after quarter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shrank", the past tense form of the verb 'shrink'?
shrinked
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
trends by August, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.
Further
more, in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had been
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by December
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the monthly sales percentage in the year 2016 of a smart phone represented as product X.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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