Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the bar graph shows the information abotu the spending

the bar graph shows the information abotu the spending 253oA
The bar graph shows the information about the spending of 18 to 20 years old on food, clothes, books, smartphones, and toiletries in 2010 and 2014 in a particular country. Overall, it is observed that the maximum spending money on food and at least utilize money on books in both the years. To start with, in 2010, the 18-20 years old people spend roughly 3700$ million on food, which was followed by cloth ad approximately 2500$ million and at least expenditure was done on books with the figure of only 1000$ million. In contrast, smartphones and toiletries accounted for about 2000$ million and 1900$ million respectively. In the next four years, the expenditure on food, smartphone and toiletries increased and in 2014, about 4300$ million were spent on food, whereas about 2700$ million were spent on smartphones. The number of toiletries slightly rose by about 100$ million. By contrast, the spending on books were minimum as comparison in 2010 at account 500$ million. Lastly, the expense on clothes remained unchanged at 2500$ million.
The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about the spending of 18 to 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, clothes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, smartphones, and toiletries in 2010 and 2014 in a particular country.

Overall
, it
is observed
that the maximum spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and at least utilize money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in both the years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, in 2010, the 18-20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend roughly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3700".
3700$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which
was followed
by cloth ad approximately
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2500".
2500$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and at least expenditure
was done
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with the figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
In contrast
, smartphones and toiletries accounted for about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2000".
2000$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1900".
1900$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
.

In the
next
four years, the expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, smartphone and toiletries increased and in 2014, about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$4300".
4300$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
were spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whereas about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2700".
2700$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
were spent
on smartphones. The number of toiletries
slightly
rose by about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$100".
100$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. By contrast, the spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were minimum as comparison in 2010 at account
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$500".
500$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Lastly
, the expense on clothes remained unchanged at
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2500".
2500$
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the bar graph shows the information abotu the spending

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • the bar graph shows the information abotu the spending