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the bar graph shows the information abotu the gdp from it and service

the bar graph shows the information abotu the gdp from it and service LBPXr
The bar chart depicts the information about the gross domestic products from IT and service industry in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Overall, it is observed that, both year GDP increased as a percentage, but IT remained at a higher rate throughout this time. To begin with, in 1992, the service industry accounted for 4% of GDP, whereas IT exceeded this, at just over 6 percent. Over the next year four years, the trend was more similar with both components standing 6 and just over 8 percent. After four years, IT was still higher overall, though it dropped slightly from 1994 to 1996. However, in 2000, the two components of UK were highest as comparison to previous years. The percentage of GDP from IT increased sharply to 15, while the service industry stayed nearly same, increasing to only 8 percent
The bar chart depicts the information about the gross domestic products from IT and service industry in the UK from 1992 to 2000.

Overall
, it
is observed
that, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
GDP increased as a percentage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
IT remained at a higher rate throughout this time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1992, the service industry accounted for 4% of GDP, whereas IT exceeded this, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 6 percent. Over the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
four years, the trend was more similar with both components standing 6 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 8 percent. After four years, IT was
still
higher
overall
, though it dropped
slightly
from 1994 to 1996.

However
, in 2000, the two components of UK were highest as comparison to previous years. The percentage of GDP from IT increased
sharply
to 15, while the service industry stayed
nearly
same, increasing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percent
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IELTS academic the bar graph shows the information abotu the gdp from it and service

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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