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The bar graph shows production and consumption of electricity in top 10 countries. Summarize and compare.

The bar graph shows production and consumption of electricity in top 10 countries. Summarize and compare. k6A3e
The multiple bar graph illustrates the top 10 nations involved in production and consumption of electricity in 2014. All the figures are represented in Billion Kilowatt Hour. Every country is allocated a rank according to the magnitude. At a first glance, it can be observed that every country's production exceeds its consumption, the only exception being Germany. Superpowers like China, USA and Russia acquire the top positions. China ranks 1st with total production of 5, 398 KWh and total consumption of 5, 322 KWh. China is followed by USA, which ranks 2nd with production around 4, 099 KWh and consumption around 3, 866 KWh. A developing but a highly populous nation like India ranks 5th with production of 871 KWh and consumption around 699 KWh. Nations like Germany and South Korea which have a small population but offer a very high standard of living acquire the 9th and 10th positions respectively. While Germany produces around 527 KWh of electricity, South Korea isn't behind by a huge margin, producing around 485 KWh of electricity. In general, we can conclude that there doesn't exist a substantial gap between the magnitude of production and consumption of electricity in these nations. There is high dependence on electricity to satisfy wants and requirements.
The multiple bar graph illustrates the top 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 2014. All the figures
are represented
in
Use "a Billion" or use a number before 'Billion'.
Billion
Kilowatt
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
Hour
. Every country
is allocated
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rank
according to the magnitude. At a
first
glance, it can
be observed
that every country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
exceeds its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exception being Germany.

Superpowers like China, USA and Russia acquire the top positions. China
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ranks
1st with total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of 5, 398
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
and total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of 5, 322
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
. China
is followed
A determiner is probably missing here: "by the USA".
by USA
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ranks
2nd with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
4, 099
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
3, 866
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
.

A developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
highly
populous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
like India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ranks
5th with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of 871
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
699
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
like Germany and South Korea which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
offer a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high standard of living acquire the 9th and 10th positions
respectively
. While Germany produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
527
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
of
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electricity
, South Korea isn't behind by a huge margin, producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
485
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
of electricity.

In general
, we can conclude that there doesn't exist a substantial gap between the magnitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. There is high dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
to satisfy wants and requirements.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows production and consumption of electricity in top 10 countries. Summarize and compare.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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