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The bar graph shows information about the number of candidate from the four separate countries in UK University from 1999 to 2003

The bar graph shows information about the number of candidate from the four separate countries in UK University from 1999 to 2003 LBYxR
Overall, it is clear that, the maximum number of applicants had been remained stable of the European Nation and the Africa from 1999 to 2003 while, the minimum number of candidate had been decreased of the Africa in 1999. On the one hand, around 36000 candidates had been increased in European Nations from 1999 and in the same country, applicants had been slightly decreased in the same year, which was approximately 10, 000. More over, the candidate had been in client in the or conditions from 2000 that was 25000. Furthermore, the applicant had been declined in Africa that was nearly 5, 000. On the other hand, the candidates had been remained stable in the European Nations and Africa from 2001, that was approximately 20, 000. In addition, the applicant had been decreased in Far East from 2002 that was approximately 15000.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
had
been remained
stable of the European Nation and the Africa from 1999 to 2003 while, the minimum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
had
been decreased
of the Africa in 1999. On the one hand, around 36000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
had
been increased
in European Nations from 1999 and in the same country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
had been
slightly
decreased in the same year, which was approximately 10, 000. More over, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
had been in client in the or conditions from 2000 that was 25000.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
had
been declined
in Africa that was
nearly
5, 000.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
had
been remained
stable in the European Nations and Africa from 2001, that was approximately 20, 000.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
had
been decreased
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Far East".
in Far East
from 2002 that was approximately 15000.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows information about the number of candidate from the four separate countries in UK University from 1999 to 2003

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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