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the bar graph show the good and bad things of living standard

the bar graph show the good and bad things of living standard OllgM
The given bar graph depict the good and bad things of living standard qualities and line graph shows the major problem on london the data is calibrated in percentage. To commence with, the percentage of best things in london was ranges of shops which was maximum in all years. Afterthat the proportion of job opportunity and mixture of individuals was approximately similar. Then, the museums and art gallery was nearby 30% in first year and it was increased in 2nd and 3rd year and the proportion of nightlife, transport and others was approximately same. Moving further, the cost of living and crime was the worst part about 58% and it was decreased in 2nd and 3rd year. Thereafter, the proportion of traffic congestion was similar in first and second year respectively and it was declined in 3rd year which was about 48% and cost of housing was 35%. Then, the garbage was the biggest problem in London and noise was the problem that affected least to people. Overall, it is inferred that range of shops best things and traffic congestion of worst part highest as compared to other things
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things of living standard qualities and line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the major problem on
Possible spelling mistake found.
london
the data
is calibrated
in percentage. To commence with, the percentage
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
things in
Possible spelling mistake found.
london
was ranges of shops which was maximum in all years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
the proportion of job opportunity and mixture of individuals was approximately similar. Then, the museums and art gallery was nearby 30% in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and it
was increased
in 2nd and 3rd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and the proportion of nightlife, transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
was approximately same. Moving
further
, the cost of living and crime was the worst part about 58% and it
was decreased
in 2nd and 3rd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Thereafter, the proportion of traffic congestion was similar in
first
and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
respectively
and it
was declined
in 3rd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which was about 48% and cost of housing was 35%. Then, the garbage was the biggest problem in London and noise was the problem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
least to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Overall
, it
is inferred
that range of
A determiner is probably missing here: "shops the best".
shops best
things and traffic congestion of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
part highest as compared to other things
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IELTS academic the bar graph show the good and bad things of living standard

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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