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The pie chart shows figures for Brighton University leavers who were employed by different employment sectors in 2019.

The pie chart shows figures for Brighton University leavers who were employed by different employment sectors in 2019. o88VD
The pie chart shows figures for Brighton University leavers who were employed by different employment sectors in 2019. It is, overall, clear that service industries was the most popular choice among graduates from Brighton University, while they were less involved in sport compared to other employment sectors. It is also noticeable that the shares of graduates entering education, politics and government and manufacturing industry sectors were almost similar. Focusing on the service industries, in 2019 study came to the conclusion that the proportion of this sector was larger than remaining employment sectors, at 33%. In contrast, the sport and charity sectors were least popular among graduates, with 0. 1% and 0. 3%, respectively. 14. 7% of Brighton University leavers entered education sector, while virtually same proportion of graduates were employed by politics and government organizations, at 12. 1%. Similarly, almost one fifth of the graduates entered manufacturing industry. There was an insignificant difference between the percentages of civil service and transportation and waterhousing sector, with the difference of around 2% (155 words)
The pie chart
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shows
figures for Brighton University leavers who
were employed
by
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different
employment
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sectors
in 2019.

It is,
overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
was the most popular choice among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
from Brighton University, while they were less involved in sport compared to other employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. It is
also
noticeable that the shares of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
entering education, politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were almost similar.

Focusing on the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, in 2019 study came to the conclusion that the proportion of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was larger than remaining employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, at 33%.
In contrast
, the sport and charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were least popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, with 0. 1% and 0. 3%,
respectively
.

14. 7% of Brighton University leavers entered education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, while
virtually
same proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were employed
by politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations, at 12. 1%.
Similarly
, almost one fifth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
entered manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. There was an insignificant difference between the percentages of civil service and transportation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
waterhousing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, with the difference of around 2%

(155 words)
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IELTS academic The pie chart shows figures for Brighton University leavers who were employed by different employment sectors in 2019.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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