Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph depicts the information about people did different jobs like childcare in the home , housework and gardening in various categories and it was done by per week in average hours. The data has been calibrated in numbers.

The bar graph depicts the information about people did different jobs like childcare in the home, housework and gardening in various categories and it was done by per week in average hours. The data has been calibrated in numbers. web6Y
At first glance it can be seen that the there was three categories; married men, married women, unmarried women who was without children, with 1-2 children and with 3+ children. However all married or unmarried women with 3+ children was worked for 60 hours which was the higher in comparison to married men because they performed for 18 hours which was the least in the given bar graph. Moreover, with 1-2 children married men laboured for 19 hours where as married and unmarried women was operated for 55 hours which was maximum hours. Overall, it can be seen that the married men were did less work in comparison to other two categories where it was with children or without children or with 1-2 children.
At
first
glance it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Did you mean "there were three categories"?
there was three categories
; married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who was without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, with 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and with 3+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
all married or unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with 3+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was worked
for 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
which was the higher
in comparison
to married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they performed for 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
which was the least in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph.
Moreover
, with 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
Possible spelling mistake. 'laboured' is British English.
laboured
for 19
It is better to use 'hours' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "hours when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
hours where
as married and unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was operated
for 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
which was maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
did
less work
in comparison
to other two categories where it was with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or with 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar graph depicts the information about people did different jobs like childcare in the home, housework and gardening in various categories and it was done by per week in average hours. The data has been calibrated in numbers.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    the bar chart from task 1
    The bar chart illustrates the how many hours adolescents in Chester spent on seven activities each weak between seven years from 2002 to 2007. Overall, the chart shows that the highest time of teenagers spent for watching television while the lowest one was for bowling during all these seven years....
  • 5band
    the diagrams below show the maps of the bookstore in 2000 and the same area at the present time
    The diagrams illustrate changes in the design change of the bookstore from 2000 to the present. At the first glance, the most noticeable change is the rearrangement of some positions of the book area. Moreover, they added tables and chairs in the center of the book shop and replaced the non-fiction...
  • 6.5band
    online shopping in Australia, Canada and UK
    The chart illustrates the percentage of items and aids the citizens in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom purchased online in the previous year. These purchases include toys, food and drink, financial services, DVDs, music, computer equipment and books. One of the first things to note is that...
  • 5band
    Describe the body diagram below.
    The given diagram of body reveals the information of external and internal body parts with their functions. In the picture, There are many external parts are seen on upper part where nose is for smelling, mouth is for eating food and speaking, eyes are for seeing visuals and ears for hearing. brain...
  • 6band
    Describe the body parts in more than 150 worss
    The given diagram of body reveals the information of external and internal body parts with their functions. In the picture, There are many external parts are seen on upper part where nose is for smelling, mouth is for eating food and speaking, eyes are for seeing visuals and ears for hearing. brain...
  • 6.5band
    Summarize the information of human body parts in more tha 152 words.
    The given diagram of body reveals the information of external and internal body parts with their functions. In the picture, There are numerous external parts are seen on upper part where nose is for smelling, mouth is for eating food and speaking, eyes are for seeing visuals and ears for hearing. B...





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar graph depicts the information about people did different jobs like childcare in the home , housework and gardening in various categories and it was done by per week in average hours. The data has been calibrated in numbers.