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The bar diagram shows us the hours spent per week by the students of different age groups on the leisure activities and studies

The bar diagram shows us the hours spent per week by the students of different age groups on the leisure activities and studies peyby
The bar diagram shows us the hours spent per week by the students of different age groups on the leisure activities and studies for the two different age groups that is 10-14 years and 15 to 18 years. The first age group is 10-14 years. The children of this age group spend more time in studies than doing any other activities. They spend 40 hours studying and only 25 hours doing fun. It shows that they are more interested in studies in their young age. They must be particular in doing in their homework on time. The second age group is 15-18 years. Children spend almost equal time in studying and leisure activities that is 40 and 35 hours respectively. This age group has lots of other things to do so, they do not spend their time in leisure activities. It is quite evident from the bar that children change their interests and hobbies according to their growing age.
The bar diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent per week by the students of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
on the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and studies for the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
that is
10-14 years and 15 to 18 years. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is 10-14 years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
children of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in studies than doing any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
studying and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
doing fun. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that they are more interested in studies in their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be particular in doing in their homework on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is 15-18 years. Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
almost equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in studying and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that is
40 and 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
respectively
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
has lots of other things to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It is quite evident from the bar that children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their interests and hobbies according to their growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS academic The bar diagram shows us the hours spent per week by the students of different age groups on the leisure activities and studies

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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