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The bar charts illustrates, the number in millions of Japanese travelling overseas over a decade between 1985 and 1995, while the line graph depicts about the proportion of Australia towards Japan's tourist market.

The bar charts illustrates, the number in millions of Japanese travelling overseas over a decade between 1985 and 1995, while the line graph depicts about the proportion of Australia towards Japan's tourist market. Qa03
The bar charts illustrates, the number in millions of Japanese travelling overseas over a decade between 1985 and 1995, while the line graph depicts about the proportion of Australia towards Japan's tourist market. Overall, the first graph shows the Japanese citizens who increased in number over a period of 10 years, whereas the second graph also showed an upward trend in the distribution of Australia in Japanese passengers. On the bar chart, Just above 4million of Japanese moved to various countries in 1985 and rose to nearly about 11millions after 5 succeeding years. Then it declined to million in a year 1991, after a year slightly grew by 2million in 1992 and remained steady for next 2 years. Finally, Japanese tourist hit a highest point of around 15 million in 1995. For the line graph, the percentage of the distribution of Australian into Japan's market increased steadily and stood roughly 5% after 4 years beginning at the year 1985 then gently plummeted after a year by 1%. From 1989 to 1993, it significantly rose again and peaked at a year 1993 at 6. 4% of Australian share, it gradually decreased at 6% 2year later.
The bar charts
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
, the number in
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millions
of Japanese travelling overseas over a decade between 1985 and 1995, while the line
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graph
depicts about the proportion of Australia towards Japan's tourist market.

Overall
, the
first
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the Japanese citizens who increased in number over a period of 10 years, whereas the second
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graph
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend in the distribution of Australia in Japanese passengers.

On the bar chart,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
above
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4million
of Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to various countries in 1985 and rose to
nearly
about
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11millions
after 5 succeeding years. Then it declined to
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
in a
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year
1991, after a
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year
slightly
grew by
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2million
in 1992 and remained steady for
next
2 years.
Finally
, Japanese tourist hit
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest point of around 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1995.

For the line
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graph
, the percentage of the distribution of Australian into Japan's market increased
steadily
and stood roughly 5% after 4 years beginning at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1985 then
gently
plummeted after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by 1%. From 1989 to 1993, it
significantly
rose again and peaked at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1993 at 6. 4% of Australian share, it
gradually
decreased at 6%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2year
later.
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrates, the number in millions of Japanese travelling overseas over a decade between 1985 and 1995, while the line graph depicts about the proportion of Australia towards Japan's tourist market.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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