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The bar charts give the information on the railway systems i

The bar charts give the information on the railway systems i we5eY
The given bar graph has presented information on six railways in European cities, namely Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon, Rome, Madrid and Berlin. In general, Paris has the largest and oldest rail system, whereas Lisbon boasts of the highest number of commuters. As per the illustration, the Paris railway was established in 1863 and currently has approximately 400 km routes. Being the second-largest and second oldest railway system, Stockholm saw its foundation in 1900 and has expanded its path to nearly 200 km. Talking about Rome and Lisbon, both of them were inaugurated in 1976 and 1927, respectively. Consecutively, they have rail tracks that expand to 126 and 155 km. Out of all, Madrid’s smallest rail track is only 11 km and which came into existence in 1981. Berlin, on the other hand, was introduced in 2001 and had 28 km of route. Talking about serving the commuters, the Lisbon rail system takes the cookie with approximately 200 million commuters each year. Almost half of these passengers travel in Stockholm. Even though Paris has the oldest and largest train system, it only facilitates 775 million people a year. Rome has 144 million annual passengers, thrice the number of passengers who travel with Berlin and Madrid railway systems.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph has presented information on six
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railways
in European cities,
namely
Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon, Rome, Madrid and Berlin.
In general
, Paris has the largest and oldest
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rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, whereas Lisbon boasts of the highest number of commuters.

As per the illustration, the Paris
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
was established
in 1863 and
currently
has approximately 400 km routes. Being the second-largest and second oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, Stockholm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
its foundation in 1900 and has expanded its path to
nearly
200 km. Talking about Rome and Lisbon, both of them
were inaugurated
in 1976 and 1927,
respectively
.
Consecutively
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
that expand to 126 and 155 km. Out of all, Madrid’s smallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11 km and which came into existence in 1981. Berlin,
on the other hand
,
was introduced
in 2001 and had 28 km of route.

Talking about serving the commuters, the Lisbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
takes the cookie with approximately 200 million commuters each year. Almost half of these passengers travel in Stockholm.
Even though
Paris has the oldest and largest train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
facilitates 775 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a year. Rome has 144 million annual passengers, thrice the number of passengers who travel with Berlin and Madrid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
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IELTS academic The bar charts give the information on the railway systems i

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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