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Table chart description in there was which are similar to the noticeable grath Nolice share . While Sony Ericsson only rose from 6,3 % to 7,4 % a sharp increase of nearly 4 % in the Motorala's manket share When it comes to the opposing growthy Samsung and LG both witnessed an a decline of around 1 % A to 11 , 8 % and 6,3 % respectively . Despite the mentioned detendredion , other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of waikat the world from 2005 to 2005 share in

Table chart description in there was which are similar to the noticeable grath Nolice share. While Sony Ericsson only rose from 6, 3 % to 7, 4 % a sharp increase of nearly 4 % in the Motorala's manket share When it comes to the opposing growthy Samsung and LG both witnessed an a decline of around 1 % A to 11, 8 % and 6, 3 % respectively. Despite the mentioned detendredion, other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of waikat the world from 2005 to 2005 share in p1VaD
The proportions of the manufactured mobile phone marker accounting in the worldwide market ware reveals in the given chart over the period of 2 years from 2005 to 2006 Overall, it can be observed that Nokia made up the largest share over the period while Al BenQ Mobile only accounted for lille percentage compared with the total share in both 2005 and 2006 To begin with, Motorola and Sony Ericsson all witnessed ca sugar - final screase in the productivity, which are similar to the noticeable growth in Nolice share. While Sony Ericsson only rose from 6, 3 % to 7, 4 %, there was a sharp increase of nearly 4 % in the Motorala's market share. When it comes to the opposing growth, Samsung and LG both witnessed an a decline of around 1 % to 11, 8 % and 6, 3 % respectively. Despite the mentioned detendredion, other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of market share in the world from 2005 to 2005
The proportions of the manufactured mobile phone marker accounting in the worldwide market ware reveals in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart over the period of 2 years from 2005 to 2006
Overall
, it can
be observed
that Nokia made up the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
over the period while Al
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BenQ
Mobile
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only
accounted for
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lille
percentage compared with the total
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share
in both 2005 and 2006 To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Motorola and Sony Ericsson all witnessed ca sugar
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
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final screase
in the productivity, which are similar to the noticeable growth in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nolice
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share
. While Sony Ericsson
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rose from 6, 3 % to 7, 4 %, there was a sharp increase of
nearly
4 % in the
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Motorala
's market
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share
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the opposing growth, Samsung and LG both witnessed
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "an" or "a" is left.
an a
decline of around 1 % to 11, 8 % and 6, 3 %
respectively
. Despite the mentioned
Possible spelling mistake found.
detendredion
, other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
in the world from 2005 to 2005
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IELTS academic Table chart description in there was which are similar to the noticeable grath Nolice share. While Sony Ericsson only rose from 6, 3 % to 7, 4 % a sharp increase of nearly 4 % in the Motorala's manket share When it comes to the opposing growthy Samsung and LG both witnessed an a decline of around 1 % A to 11, 8 % and 6, 3 % respectively. Despite the mentioned detendredion, other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of waikat the world from 2005 to 2005 share in

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Table chart description in there was which are similar to the noticeable grath Nolice share . While Sony Ericsson only rose from 6,3 % to 7,4 % a sharp increase of nearly 4 % in the Motorala's manket share When it comes to the opposing growthy Samsung and LG both witnessed an a decline of around 1 % A to 11 , 8 % and 6,3 % respectively . Despite the mentioned detendredion , other mobile phone groups all experienced a slight fall in the percentage of waikat the world from 2005 to 2005 share in