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The bar charts display information about the number and work type of British graduated scholars (undergraduate and postgraduate) who not employee as a full-time worker after their graduation in 2008.

The bar charts display information about the number and work type of British graduated scholars (undergraduate and postgraduate) who not employee as a full-time worker after their graduation in 2008. MqWkk
The bar charts display information about the number and work type of British graduated scholars (undergraduate and postgraduate) who not employee as a full-time worker after their graduation in 2008. Generally, the most of undergraduate scholars in the UK continue their further education whereas a few of students took a voluntary job. For postgraduate, there were two sections as the highest number such as part-time job and also pursued a further study. Following this data, the majority of British graduate students pursed their higher education, it accounted for nearly 30. 000 of scholars. While part-time work and unemployment slightly different by 17. 735 and 16. 325 of scholar respectively. The minority of students worked as a volunteer made by 3. 500. Surprisingly, in postgraduate students there were two areas that pupils took after their graduation such as continued their education and to be a part-timer, that accounted for 2. 725 and 2. 535 of students respectively. Following this, 1. 625 of British postgraduate students as an unemployment. Lastly, a tiny number of scholars who work as a volunteer by 345 students.
The bar charts display information about the number and work type of British graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
(undergraduate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate)
who not employee as a full-time worker after their graduation in 2008.

Generally
, the
Consider using "most undergraduate" or "most of the undergraduate".
most of undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
in the UK continue their
further
education whereas a few of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took a voluntary job. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
, there were two sections as the highest number such as part-time job and
also
pursued a
further
study.

Following this data, the majority of British graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursed their higher education, it accounted for
nearly
30. 000 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
. While part-time work and unemployment
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
by 17. 735 and 16. 325 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholar
respectively
. The minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
worked as a volunteer made by 3. 500.

Surprisingly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
there were two areas that pupils took after their graduation such as continued their education and to be a part-timer, that accounted for 2. 725 and 2. 535 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
respectively
. Following this, 1. 625 of British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as an unemployment.
Lastly
, a tiny number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
who work as a volunteer by 345
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The bar charts display information about the number and work type of British graduated scholars (undergraduate and postgraduate) who not employee as a full-time worker after their graduation in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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