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Pie charts shows expenditure of money in a country in 1950 and 2010

Pie charts shows expenditure of money in a country in 1950 and 2010 Jomr0
The rendered pie charts illustrates the distribution of money in a country in 1950 and 2010. The data is given in percentage. Taking the statistical data into account it can clearly be seen that the maximum money was spent on Housing accounted as 72. 1% in 1950 while, minimum money was used for Health care with 2. 4% in same year. On the contrary, in 2010, people spent 34. 0% money on Food whereas, least expenditure on Health care. Interestingly, a near resemblance of 6. 6% can clearly be seen in 1950 and 2010 in related to expenditure on Education. Probing ahead, in 1950, people spent only 3. 3% money on Transportation but in 2010, they spent 4 times more than money on same category. Surprisingly, individuals expend smallest proportion of money on other goods in 1950 and in 2010. Overall, it is crystal clear from provided pie charts that the citizens spent largest percentum of money on two main categories such as Housing and Food.
The rendered pie charts illustrates the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a country in 1950 and 2010. The data is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in percentage. Taking the statistical data into account it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on Housing accounted as 72. 1% in 1950 while, minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for Health care with 2. 4% in same year.
On the contrary
, in 2010,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
34. 0%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on Food whereas,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
expenditure on Health care.
Interestingly
, a near resemblance of 6. 6% can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 1950 and 2010 in related to expenditure on Education. Probing ahead, in 1950,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3. 3%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on Transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
4 times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on same category.
Surprisingly
, individuals expend
A determiner is probably missing here: "the smallest".
smallest
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in 1950 and in 2010.
Overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from provided pie charts that the citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
largest
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on two main categories such as Housing and Food.
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IELTS academic Pie charts shows expenditure of money in a country in 1950 and 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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