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The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet. xlO1
The bar chart gives information about ActiveX, java and net of computer programs download using the internet for five week. Data of the chart point out download rate of times per week. According to the chart, ActiveX has the highest download rate while net has the least download rate. Firstly, ActiveX and java follow the same pattern according to the chart. Although Activex computer package scaled download rate up first three weeks, ıt a slight fell in fourth week but ıt kept rising for fifth week. despite this situation, Activex was the most popular computer package to download. Java gradually increased from week 1 to week 5. in week 1, the download of ActiveX was around 80, 000 whereas the download of java was about 40000. In week 5, Activex was finishing the period at 120, 000 whilst java ended up approximately 80000 Although Net went down the first three weeks, it increased sharply from week 3 to week 5. Despite this spike, Net was the least popular computer package to download. While Net has download rate under 40, 000 in week 1, ıt has download rate of nearly 40, 000 at the end of the 5th week
The bar
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chart
gives information about ActiveX,
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java
and net of computer programs
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download
using the internet for five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'week' seems to be countable, so consider using: "weeks".
week
. Data of the
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chart
point out
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download
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rate
of times per
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week
. According to the
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chart
, ActiveX has the highest
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download
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rate
while net has the least
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download
rate.

Firstly
, ActiveX and
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java
follow the same pattern according to the
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chart
. Although
Possible spelling mistake found.
Activex
computer package scaled
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download
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rate
up
first
three
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weeks
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
a slight fell in fourth
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week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
rising for fifth
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week
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
this situation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Activex
was the most popular computer package to
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download
.
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Java
gradually
increased from
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week
1 to
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week
5.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
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week
1, the
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download
of ActiveX was around 80, 000 whereas the
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download
of
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java
was about 40000. In
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week
5,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Activex
was finishing the period at 120, 000 whilst
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java
ended up approximately 80000

Although Net went down the
first
three
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weeks
, it increased
sharply
from
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week
3 to
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week
5. Despite this spike, Net was the least popular computer package to
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download
. While Net has
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download
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
under 40, 000 in
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week
1,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
has
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download
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
nearly
40, 000 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 5th
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
week
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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