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The bar chart shows the gender distribution of student doing scientific research across the range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009.

The bar chart shows the gender distribution of student doing scientific research across the range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009. OQPj
The bar chart shows the gender distribution of student doing scientific research across the range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009. In five of the six disciplines, males outnumbered females. Male students made up a particularly large proportion of the student group in subjects related to the study of inanimate objects and materials: physics, astronomy, and geology. The gender gap was particularly large in the field of physics, where there were five times as many male students as female students. Men and women were more equally represented in subjects related to the study of living things: biology, medicine, and veterinary medicine. In biology, there were nearly as many women approximately 200 as men approximately 240. This was also true of medicine. Veterinary medicine was the only discipline in which women outnumbered men roughly 110 women vs. 90 men. Overall, the chart shows that at this university, science-related subjects continue to be male-dominated; however, women have significant presence in fields related to medicine and the life sciences.
The bar chart
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shows
the gender distribution of
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student
doing scientific research across the range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009.

In five of the six disciplines, males outnumbered females. Male
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students
made up a
particularly
large proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
group in subjects related to the study of inanimate objects and materials: physics, astronomy, and geology. The gender gap was
particularly
large in the field of physics, where there were five times as
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many
male
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students
as female students.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and
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women
were more
equally
represented in subjects related to the study of living things: biology,
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medicine
, and veterinary
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medicine
. In biology, there were
nearly
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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women
approximately 200 as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
approximately 240. This was
also
true of
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medicine
. Veterinary
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medicine
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discipline in which
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women
outnumbered
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men
roughly 110
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women
vs. 90
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Overall
, the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that at this university, science-related subjects continue to be male-dominated;
however
,
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women
have significant presence in fields related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
and the life sciences.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the gender distribution of student doing scientific research across the range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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