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The Bar Chart shows CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union.The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport.

The Bar Chart shows CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. p9mD
Given are two figures are concerning means of transport in the European Union. The first provides information on the grams of carbon dioxide emissions per passenger left by six different forms of vehicles while the pie chart represents the percentage of the European Union’s budget for those transports. From the overall prospective, it can be clearly observed that the most significant amount of CO2 released into atmosphere is contributed by air types of transportation. Moreover, the largest quantity of money of European Union is determined to be invested in roads. With respect to the bar chart, types of vehicles used in air leave the most sufficient amount of carbon dioxide emissions, rating at approximately 380 grams per passenger. The second leading position is taken by motor cars, releasing about 130 grams of CO2, while other forms of transports, namely buses, coaches, maritime, and rail are responsible for the insignificant figures, fewer than 70 grams. As for the pie chart, roads comprise just over a half of the budget of European Union, which is the biggest investment among other participants. Accounting for 21% less of the finance, railways stand second whereas only 10% of the company’s money is spent on public transport. Regarding five other means of transport, they experience the least amount of fund, comprising just 1-2%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
are two figures
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are concerning
means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
in the European Union. The
first
provides information on the grams of carbon dioxide emissions per passenger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
by six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of vehicles while the pie chart represents the percentage of the European Union’s budget for those transports.

From the
overall
prospective, it can be
clearly
observed that the most significant amount of CO2 released into atmosphere
is contributed
by air types of transportation.
Moreover
, the largest quantity of money of European Union
is determined
to
be invested
in roads.

With respect to the bar chart, types of vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the most sufficient amount of carbon dioxide emissions, rating at approximately 380 grams per passenger. The second leading position
is taken
by motor cars, releasing about 130 grams of CO2, while other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
,
namely
buses, coaches, maritime, and rail are responsible for the insignificant figures, fewer than 70 grams.

As for the pie chart, roads comprise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half of the budget of European Union, which is the biggest investment among other participants. Accounting for 21% less of the finance, railways stand second whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s money
is spent
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. Regarding five other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, they experience the least amount of fund, comprising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1-2%.
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IELTS academic The Bar Chart shows CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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