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The bar chart show this shit in 200000001 to 2003

The bar chart show this shit in 200000001 to 2003 PRgyX
The two maps illustrate the infrastructures changed around the main entrance to an urban hospital between 2007 and 2010. It can be seen from two pictures that there is considerable innovation in the infrastructure including two roundabouts, new bus station, seperated car park for patients and staff in the period of three years at the urban hospital. The year 2010 witnessed the emergence of a new bus station on the west of the road in place of six bus stops. Further developments were the first roundabout located in the south of the hospital and the second one placed at four-way junction on the city road, these roundabouts were linked with a new bus stop. In terms of car park places, the westside of the hospital experienced the erection of a new public car park connected with Ring road, but the old car park was still utilizing as the parking place for staff working in the hospital.
The two maps illustrate the infrastructures
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changed
around the main entrance to an urban
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hospital
between 2007 and 2010.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from two pictures that there is considerable innovation in the infrastructure including two roundabouts,
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new
bus station,
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
for patients and staff in the period of three years at the urban hospital.

The year 2010 witnessed the emergence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
bus station on the west of the road in place of six bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
.
Further
developments were the
first
roundabout located in the south of the
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hospital
and the second one placed at four-way junction on the city road, these roundabouts
were linked
with a
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new
bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.

In terms of
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
places,
The phrase 'the westside of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the westside of
the
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hospital
experienced the erection of a
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new
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
connected with Ring road,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was
still
utilizing as the parking place for staff working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart show this shit in 200000001 to 2003

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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