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in your opinion, what are major benefits and drawbacks of hosting an international sporting events such as world cup

in your opinion, what are major benefits and drawbacks of hosting an international sporting events such as world cup dl5Oo
Nowadays, almost all people in over the world have a lot of different kinds of jobs. Besides working, citizens in many countries still have fun in a lot of festivals or games between two or more different countries, such as the World Cup. This essay will discuss about both advantages and disadvantages of this trend. There are still a lot of benefits when people watch the World Cup. First of all, it brings a lot of fun and feeling to people; especially the one who falls in love with soccer or some other sports during the World Cup. For example, in VietNam when the soccer team of the country goes to play with another country and brings the reward back to Vietnam, this means the country was won and all of the citizens in the country will feel that it is also their happiness and they really enjoy with it On the other hand, this situation also brings too much trouble to people, particularly people who are addicted to the World Cup and have a thinking that they can make money with it such as playing betting games. A large percentage of betting games in the World Cup make people sell their houses or other things of their belongings to get money to play the games with others in the way that they think they can make money. As a result, some just continue to sell things and lose everything because of the game In conclusion, besides good things, the trend brings to people still a number of bad things. In my opinion, the host government should fix the problem one by one to help people have better happiness in this case soon.
Nowadays, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of jobs.
Besides
working, citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
still
have fun in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of festivals or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
between two or more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

There are
still
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of fun and feeling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
especially
the one who falls in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with soccer or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sports during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
when the soccer team of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
goes to play with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
the reward back to Vietnam, this means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was won
and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
citizens in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will feel that it is
also
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happiness and
they
really
enjoy with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this situation
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
too much trouble to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are addicted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
and have a thinking that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money with it such as playing betting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. A large percentage of betting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sell their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things of their belongings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money to play the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with others in the way that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
continue to sell things and lose everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
game


In conclusion
,
besides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things, the trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. In my opinion, the host
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the problem one by one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have better happiness
in this case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
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IELTS academic in your opinion, what are major benefits and drawbacks of hosting an international sporting events such as world cup

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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