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The bar chart show the two type of TV show in Australia watch by men and women and four different kind of other people

The bar chart show the two type of TV show in Australia watch by men and women and four different kind of other people PL61E
The supplied bar b charts compare the two TV shows washed by female and male Australian and other four different age groups people. Looking at the details, it is clear that, the difference about 20% can be witness in the present age of male who was reality and game show, as it was approximately 40% in reality show and 60% in game show. Additionally, the proportion of female reality show viewers was 70%, which was 10% more than the game show. Similarly, the number of 16-24 aged televiewers in reality show was 60% which declined about 20% and reached 40% in game show. Analysing the remaining data, from 35-44 to 45+audience for reality show lied between 60% and 70%. A difference of 30% can be observed in the present age of 35-44 and 45+Australian who prefer to watch game show, to be more precise, 40% for 35-44and 70% for 45+ Overall, it is evident from the given data, the proportion of female was higher in reality show than men.
The supplied bar b charts compare the two TV
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shows
washed by female and male Australian and other four
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different
age groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Looking at the
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details
, it is
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clear
that, the difference about 20% can be witness in the present age of male who was
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reality
and game
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show
, as it was approximately 40% in
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reality
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show
and 60% in game
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show
.
Additionally
, the proportion of female
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reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
viewers was 70%, which was 10% more than the game
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show
.
Similarly
, the number of 16-24 aged
Possible spelling mistake found.
televiewers
in
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reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
was 60% which declined about 20% and reached 40% in game
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show
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the remaining data, from 35-44 to 45+audience for
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reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
lied between 60% and 70%. A difference of 30% can
be observed
in the present age of 35-44 and 45+Australian who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, to be more precise, 40% for 35-44and 70% for 45+
Overall
, it is evident from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, the proportion of female was higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart show the two type of TV show in Australia watch by men and women and four different kind of other people

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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