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Line graph shows data about passengers station in london

The line graph depicts the information about how many passengers used underground station in London during the given time period from 6. 00 to 22. 00. Overall, it can be noted that all figures showed underwent dramatically change in the number of commuters who prefer understand ground station. However, a very large majority of people travel at 8. 00 and 18. 00, whereas least passengers travel at 6. 00 and 22. 00. To begin with, only 100 people start their journey at 6. 00 from underground station, it increased until 7. 00 and reached at its peak point with 400. After that it followed decreasing trend till 9. 00, it's figure was 200. Then it showed some fluctuations and remained constant from 11. 00 to 14. 00. Moving further, the number of commuters who prefer to use underground station at 15. 00, 16. 00and 17. 00 was 220, 130 and 200 respectively. Then it experienced an upward trend till 18. 00, after it decline rapidly. In addition to it, the number of passengers from 20. 00 to 22. 00 ranged between 130 and 180.
The line graph depicts the information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
in London during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period from 6. 00 to 22. 00.

Overall
, it can
be noted
that all figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
underwent
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the number of commuters who prefer understand ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
.
However
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel at 8. 00 and 18. 00, whereas least passengers travel at 6.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
00
and 22. 00.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their journey at 6. 00 from underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
, it increased until 7. 00 and reached at its peak point with 400.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that it followed decreasing trend till 9. 00, it's figure was 200. Then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations and remained constant from 11. 00 to 14. 00.

Moving
further
, the number of commuters who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
at 15. 00, 16. 00and 17. 00 was 220, 130 and 200
respectively
. Then it experienced an upward trend till 18. 00, after it decline
rapidly
.
In addition
to it, the number of passengers from 20. 00 to 22. 00 ranged between 130 and 180.
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IELTS academic Line graph shows data about passengers station in london

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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