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The bar chart represents the global sales of various digital games from the year 2000 to 2006

The bar chart represents the global sales of various digital games from the year 2000 to 2006 B7gV9
The bar chart compares the global sales of four kinds of digital games in the period of 2000 to 2006. Overall, console was the only type of games which a downtrend in sales was recorded in the period. Meanwhile, the sale of all of the others were witnessed in an uptrend. The types of games also became more various year by year. Since the beggining of the period, handheld games had always possesed the largest sales. In particular, its figure was boosted from almost 12 billion USD in 2000 to almost 18 billion USD in 2006. On the contrary, Console games dropped its sales from 6 billions in 2000 by more than a half at the end of the period. Although only being introduced after 2000, online games and mobile games multipled its sales rapidly in the period. In particular, the sales of online games rose from about 1 billion USD in 2001 by 10 times in 2006, while that figure of mobile phone games rose from 2 billion USD in 2002 to about 7 billion USD in 2006.
The bar chart compares the global
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sales
of four kinds of digital
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games
in the
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period
of 2000 to 2006.

Overall
, console was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
type of
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games
which a downtrend in
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sales
was recorded
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
Consider using "all the".
all of the
others
were witnessed
in an uptrend. The types of
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games
also
became more various year by year.

Since the
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beggining
of the
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period
, handheld
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games
had always
Possible spelling mistake found.
possesed
the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
In particular
, its figure
was boosted
from almost 12
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billion
USD in 2000 to almost 18
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billion
USD in 2006.
On the contrary
, Console
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games
dropped its
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sales
from 6
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billions
in 2000 by more than a half at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being introduced
after 2000, online
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games
and mobile
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games
Possible spelling mistake found.
multipled
its
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sales
rapidly
in the
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period
.
In particular
, the
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sales
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rose from about 1
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billion
USD in 2001 by 10 times in 2006, while that figure of mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rose from 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
USD in 2002 to about 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
USD in 2006.
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IELTS academic The bar chart represents the global sales of various digital games from the year 2000 to 2006

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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