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The bar chart represents the data about percentage of people in the UK that are ate fruit and vegetables five times a day in seven year period from 2001 and 2008.

The bar chart represents the data about percentage of people in the UK that are ate fruit and vegetables five times a day in seven year period from 2001 and 2008. OGwM
The bar chart represents the data about percentage of people in the UK that are ate fruit and vegetables five times a day in seven year period from 2001 and 2008. Obviously, people of all ages has the best interest to this kind of food at 2006, however after that people become less interested. For instance, woman has the most interest in this kind of food, compared to men for example. Children had the lowest rate of all times, but as time pass they gets much interested in this food. Significant improvement can be seen at 2004 when all of the statistics got about 10% increase. But the peak of all of the data is on 2006, at that time all of the percentages had a similarly increase, compared to previous year. Although, by 2008 people had lost their interest in fruits and vegetables and all percentages had decreased to 2004 level. Accordingly to the data given, the interest to fruits and vegetables from people in the UK has a wave shape. As time pass, people become more or less interested at this food because of advertisement of different reasons.
The bar chart represents the data about percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the UK that are ate fruit and vegetables five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a day in
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
seven year
period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2001 to 2008"?
from 2001 and 2008
.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages has the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at 2006,
however
after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less interested.

For instance
, woman has the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
for example
. Children had the lowest rate of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
pass they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "get"
gets
much interested in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Significant improvement can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at 2004 when
Consider using "all the".
all of the
statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
about 10% increase.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the peak of
Consider using "all the".
all of the
data is on 2006, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider using "all the".
all of the
percentages had a
You used an adverb ('similarly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
similarly increase
, compared to previous year. Although, by 2008
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in fruits and vegetables and all percentages had decreased to 2004 level.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
to the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to fruits and vegetables from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the UK has a wave shape. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
pass,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more or less interested at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
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IELTS academic The bar chart represents the data about percentage of people in the UK that are ate fruit and vegetables five times a day in seven year period from 2001 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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