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The bar chart provides the breakdown of how much time the children of different age blanket spend with their parents.

The bar chart provides the breakdown of how much time the children of different age blanket spend with their parents. Pgj2j
The bar chart provides the breakdown of how much time the children of different age blanket spend with their parents. Overall, the children use the majority of their time on weekdays with their mother whilst on weekends they use most moment with all parents and time with the father is the least As can be seen from the diagram, the time the children at various age groups spend with their mother on weekdays is seemingly equivalent. Babies at the 0-1 as well as 8-9 age group allocate the same time with their father and mother, at 2 hours and around 5 hours respectively. The children from 6 to 7 years old spend the least time with their dad, in particularly 1 hour, while the time the parents
The bar chart provides the breakdown of how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age blanket spend with their parents.

Overall
, the
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the majority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on weekdays with their mother whilst on weekends they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
most moment with all parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the father is the least

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the diagram, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at various age groups spend with their mother on weekdays is
seemingly
equivalent. Babies at the 0-1
as well
as 8-9 age group allocate the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their father and mother, at 2 hours and around 5 hours
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from 6 to 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
spend the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their dad, in
particularly
1 hour, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
parents
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IELTS academic The bar chart provides the breakdown of how much time the children of different age blanket spend with their parents.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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