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Write at least 150 words The bar chart men and female 1995 and 2005

The bar chart men and female 1995 and 2005 gxqLD
The bar chart compares the employment rates between men and female in 6 different countries for the years 1995 and 2005. Overall, it can be seen that the employment rate among men was higher than that of females in all of the given six countries, also the employment conditions in these countries. To began with the male employment in 1995 approximately 70% males were employed in Suitzerland and in Iceland while in other 4 countries this rate was less than 60%. Over the next following 10 years, the male employment percentage reached over 70% except in Australia. On the other hand, in 1995 the female employment rate was over 50% only in Switzerland and for rest of the contries, it varies from aproximately 30% to 60%. Over the next 10 years it reached to almost 70% in Switzerland. To sum up, the male had a better employment record than the females.
The bar chart compares the
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employment
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rates
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
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female
in 6
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different
countries for the years 1995 and 2005.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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employment
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rate
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
six countries,
also
the
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employment
conditions in these countries.

To began with the male
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employment
in 1995 approximately 70%
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males
were employed
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suitzerland
and in Iceland while in other 4 countries this
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rate
was less than 60%.
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Over
the
next
following 10 years, the male
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employment
percentage reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
70% except in Australia.
On the other hand
, in 1995 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in Switzerland and for rest of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
contries
, it varies from
Possible spelling mistake found.
aproximately
30% to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
60%. Over
the
next
10 years it reached

to almost 70% in Switzerland.

To sum up, the male had a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
record than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart men and female 1995 and 2005

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
151 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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