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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of businesses which used social media for business purposes from 2012 to 2016.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of businesses which used social media for business purposes from 2012 to 2016. G9JAx
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of businesses which used social media for business purposes from 2012 to 2016. Overall, large business had the highest percentage of using social media in each year with approximate 80% and the lowest was small business. Through the time, the percent in each type of business had an impressive increase. The bar chart shows that there was a level off from 2012 to 2014 in large business. The figure for 2015 rose approximately 50% and grew up to 80% in 2016. According to the medium business there was more than 50% if businesses using social media for their purposes in 2016. There was an significantly increase between 2012 and 2014 and 30% was the proportion in 2015. It can be seen that small business didn’t care too much about social media or maybe they didn’t have enough fee for their business purposes in social media, but in the era of 4. 0 they needed social media to develop their business. There was a slightly increase between 2012 to 2014. The amount in 2016 improved sharply in 2016 with 50%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
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businesses
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purposes from 2012 to 2016.

Overall
, large
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business
had the highest percentage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in each year with approximate 80% and the lowest was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Through the time, the percent in each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
had an impressive increase.

The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there was a level off from 2012 to 2014 in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The figure for 2015 rose approximately 50% and grew up to 80% in 2016.

According to the medium
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business
there was more than 50% if
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businesses
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for their purposes in 2016. There was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You used an adverb ('significantly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
significantly increase
between 2012 and 2014 and 30% was the proportion in 2015.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
didn’t care too much about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or maybe they didn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fee for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purposes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the era of 4. 0 they needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. There was a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
slightly increase
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2012 and 2014".
between 2012 to 2014
. The amount in 2016
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
sharply
in 2016 with 50%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of businesses which used social media for business purposes from 2012 to 2016.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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