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The bar chart illustrates the proportion between men and women who took part in specific sports in England in 2008.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion between men and women who took part in specific sports in England in 2008. m2Qw8
The bar chart illustrates the proportion between men and women who took part in specific sports in England in 2008. In general, Netball was the most popular sport among females and they showed extremely low interest in playing Cricket. Meanwhile, Soccer was mostly in preference and Netball was less played by males. In addition, the number of males and females participating in Netball had the greatest disparity. As can be observed from the chart, the majority rate of men recorded in the football area was nearly a quarter, which was five times higher than that of girls. Also, both genders showed their interest in other fields which accounted for 10% for females and around 20% for males. Moreover, the percentage of men who took part in Cricket and Table tennis higher than girls were approximately at 2 percent and 8 percent respectively. Looking at the chart in more detail, the most females participated in Netball at precisely 25 percent in 2008, compared with 2 percent of males players. Besides, the second most popular among females was Swimming with roughly 23 percent, whereas the number of males playing this kind of sport was significantly lower with just nearly 14 percent. In tennis, the percentage of males and females of both Basketball and Tennis were mostly identical at about 6 to 7 percent. Similarly, Jogging was observed at the least proportion at around 3 percent by males and females in Britain in 2008.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in specific sports in England in 2008.

In general
, Netball was the most popular sport among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
females and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
extremely
low interest in playing Cricket. Meanwhile, Soccer was
mostly
in preference and Netball was less played by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
In addition
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
participating in Netball had the greatest disparity.

As can
be observed
from the chart, the majority rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
recorded in the football area was
nearly
a quarter, which was five times higher than that of girls.
Also
, both genders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their interest in other fields which accounted for 10% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and around 20% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
Moreover
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in Cricket and Table tennis higher than girls were approximately at 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.

Looking at the chart in more detail, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
participated in Netball at
precisely
25
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percent
in 2008, compared with 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
players.
Besides
, the second most popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was Swimming with roughly 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, whereas the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
playing this kind of sport was
significantly
lower with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. In tennis, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
of both Basketball and Tennis were
mostly
identical at about 6 to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Similarly
, Jogging
was observed
at the least proportion at around 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in Britain in 2008.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion between men and women who took part in specific sports in England in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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