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The bar chart illustrates the number of calories that people consumed in seven different countries in the period of 25 years beginning in 1975. It is noticeable that China and other countries saw a significant increase in calories consumed.

The bar chart illustrates the number of calories that people consumed in seven different countries in the period of 25 years beginning in 1975. It is noticeable that China and other countries saw a significant increase in calories consumed. eEYRG
The bar chart illustrates the number of calories that people consumed in seven different countries in the period of 25 years beginning in 1975. It is noticeable that China and other countries saw a significant increase in calories consumed. Overall, in 2000, the number of calories Chinese people absorbed was the largest compared to other countries. Howerver, Bangladesh experienced a slight change in the consumption of calories. The number of calories in China was 2, 000 in 1975, this number increased rapidly to 3, 000 in 2000. . While the number of calories Bangladesh people absorbed was 800 lower than in China. The number of calories was consumed by Brazil was nearly 2, 950, the number for Indonesia was a little lower ( 2, 900). In 1975, the amount of Calorie consumption in Indonesia was 2, 000, this number rose dramatically by 800 to approximately 2, 800 after 25 years. That number of Nigeria rising from roughly 2, 100 to 2, 750. There were around 2, 450 calories that Pakistan people consumed in 2000, India reached a similar level of calories consumption.
The bar chart illustrates the
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number
of calories that
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people
consumed in seven
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different
countries in the period of 25 years beginning in 1975. It is noticeable that China and other countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant increase in calories consumed.

Overall
, in 2000, the
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number
of calories Chinese
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people
absorbed was the largest compared to other countries.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howerver
, Bangladesh experienced a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the consumption of calories.

The
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number
of calories in China was 2, 000 in 1975, this
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number
increased
rapidly
to 3, 000 in 2000.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
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number
of calories Bangladesh
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people
absorbed was 800 lower than in China. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of calories
was consumed
by Brazil was
nearly
2, 950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for Indonesia was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
lower
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
2, 900).

In 1975, the amount of Calorie consumption in Indonesia was 2, 000, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
rose
dramatically
by 800 to approximately 2, 800 after 25 years. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Nigeria rising from roughly 2, 100 to 2, 750. There were around 2, 450 calories that Pakistan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consumed in 2000, India reached a similar level of calories consumption.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of calories that people consumed in seven different countries in the period of 25 years beginning in 1975. It is noticeable that China and other countries saw a significant increase in calories consumed.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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