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Some people think that changes are good , however , others opt to avoiding from changes

Some people think that changes are good, however, others opt to avoiding from changes gqB77
while some people opt to dedicate their whole lives to do the same things, others believe that changes are important. Many people prefer to engage with the same activities throughout their lives, however, i think that variety is what makes our lives meaningful. on the one hand, there are many reasons why people enjoy doing the same things during their life. First of all, a person who live doing the same job become adept at it than a person moving from to another job. For example, a football player with 15 years experience plays much better that a person playing just for fun. He also can improve his playing skills to master's level by training a lot and hard. As a result, he can be both famous and successful thanks to his regular trainings and concentration on the same things. on the other hand, i believe that changes are integral part of our life because without them our life become boring. Many people tend to alter their lifestyle frequently to avoid from boring life. However, there are other factors urging people to bring changes to their life. For instance, they would like to bring a fun to their life; therefore, they should be ready to embrace frequent alterations such as changing their diet or trying another style of clothe. Because they do not know the taste of a particular dish when trying it, they experience a new flavor and get pleasure from it and also it will become memorable moment for them. In conclusion, some people do the same things until the end of their life without knowing the pleasure of other things, however, i strongly believe that changes can bring unforgettible moments with them
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to dedicate their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to do the same things, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to engage with the same activities throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that variety is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
meaningful.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy doing the same things during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
doing the same job become adept at it than a person moving from to another job.
For example
, a football player with 15 years experience plays much better that a person playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun. He
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his playing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to master's level by training a lot and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
As a result
, he can be both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and successful thanks to his regular trainings and concentration on the same things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are integral part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without them our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
become boring.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to alter their lifestyle
frequently
to avoid from boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors urging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, they would like to bring a fun to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
;
therefore
, they should be ready to embrace frequent alterations such as changing their diet or trying another style of clothe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they do not know the taste of a particular dish when trying it, they experience a new flavor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pleasure from it and
also
it will become memorable moment for them.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do the same things until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without knowing the pleasure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things,
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
can bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
unforgettible
moments with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them
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IELTS academic Some people think that changes are good, however, others opt to avoiding from changes

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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