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The bar chart illustrates French, Japanese and Russian tourists visit to corfu between 1995 to 2005 ten year period.

The bar chart illustrates French, Japanese and Russian tourists visit to corfu between 1995 to 2005 ten year period. GRre
The bar chart illustrates French, Japanese and Russian tourists visit to corfu between 1995 to 2005 ten year period. In 1995, least percentage of visitors travelled to corfu that is about 5%. Then it is grow up dramatically on past 10 years and ends up in 14% in year 2005. In 1995, Russians owned the highest travelling percentage to corfu and then it dropped 4% and ends up in 11%. Afterthat, again Russian tourist percentage grew up to 12% in 2005. According to the graph French visitor percentage starts at 10% in 1995 and then rose up to 12% in 2000. Afterthat, the amount of French tourists remained the 12% level in next 5 year period. Overall, number of tourists visited to corfu from above mentioned countries are 30%, 31% and 38% respectively in 1995, 2000 and 2005. According to that there is a huge growth of tourists visited from France, Russia and Japan.
The bar chart illustrates French, Japanese and Russian
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tourists
visit to
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corfu
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1995 and 2005".
between 1995 to 2005
ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period. In 1995,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of visitors travelled to
Possible spelling mistake found.
corfu
that is
about 5%. Then it is
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grow
up
dramatically
on past 10 years and ends up in 14% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005. In 1995, Russians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the highest travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
corfu
and then it dropped 4% and ends up in 11%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, again Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
grew up to 12% in 2005. According to the graph French visitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at 10% in 1995 and then rose up to 12% in 2000.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, the amount of French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
remained the 12% level in
next
5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period.
Overall
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visited to
Possible spelling mistake found.
corfu
from above mentioned countries are 30%, 31% and 38%
respectively
in 1995, 2000 and 2005. According to that there is a huge growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visited from France, Russia and Japan.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates French, Japanese and Russian tourists visit to corfu between 1995 to 2005 ten year period.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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