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The bar chart gives information about the top ten ranks countries for manufacturing (black bars) and consumption (yellow bars) of electricity by billion kWh in 2014.

The bar chart gives information about the top ten ranks countries for manufacturing (black bars) and consumption (yellow bars) of electricity by billion kWh in 2014. gDDad
The bar chart gives information about the top ten ranks countries for manufacturing (black bars) and consumption (yellow bars) of electricity by billion kWh in 2014. Overall, China had the biggest production and consumption in the world. Production and consumption of electricity were very close in all that 10 countries; While, almost all countries had bigger production except Germany. China had the biggest consumption and production, which was more than 5000. The second biggest country, United States, had around 4000. Russia, Japan, and India followed them in production(1057, 936, 2, and 871, respectively); However, their manufacturing was just a quarter of the US. Canada, which made up just over 618 in production, owned sixth place. France had just a little more consumption than Brazil, which is more than 455 and France was just 4 more. Only Germany had more consumption which was nearly 590, as against just over 527 in production. Republic Korea had the least spot in these ten, which has just over 485 productions.
The bar chart gives information about the top ten ranks
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countries
for manufacturing (black bars) and
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consumption
(yellow bars) of electricity by billion kWh in 2014.

Overall
, China had the biggest
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production
and
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consumption
in the world.
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Production
and
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consumption
of electricity were
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very
close in all that 10
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countries
; While, almost all
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countries
had bigger
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production
except Germany.

China had the biggest
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consumption
and
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production
, which was more than 5000. The second biggest
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country
, United States, had around 4000. Russia, Japan, and India followed them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production(1057
, 936, 2, and 871,
respectively
);
However
, their manufacturing was
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just
a quarter of the US. Canada, which made up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 618 in
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production
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
sixth place. France had
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just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
than Brazil, which is more than 455 and France was
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just
4 more.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
Germany had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
which was
nearly
590, as against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 527 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
. Republic Korea had the least spot in these ten, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 485
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the top ten ranks countries for manufacturing (black bars) and consumption (yellow bars) of electricity by billion kWh in 2014.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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