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The bar chart give information how 20 to 30 and 45 to 60 year old people are interfare with 5 clubs shown bellow.

The bar chart give information how 20 to 30 and 45 to 60 year old people are interfare with 5 clubs shown bellow. MmrKN
The bar chart provides information about participation in various clubs at a center of two different age groups. Overall, it is clear that 20-30 age group are significantly more involved in all activities than the older age groups. We can see that archeology, keep fit and social are popular with both younger as well as older. The arts and crafts have the greatest number of youngers but it is one of the least popular clubs with 45 to 65year-olds group which is about 3 times fewer than youngers. Most of the activities are popular with youngers while the same number of peoples from each group are involved in archaeology. Only 25 peoples from 20 to 30 age group are the member of historical club whereas this number for the older groups is 50. Keep fit and social clubs have slightly more members with young age group although they are fairly popular with old age group.
The bar chart provides information about participation in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
at a center of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that 20-30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are
significantly
more involved in all activities than the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that archeology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and social are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
with both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
older. The arts and crafts have the greatest number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is one of the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
with 45 to 65year-olds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
which is about 3 times fewer than
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
. Most of the activities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
while the same number of peoples from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are involved
in
Do not mix variants of the same word ('archaeology' and 'archeology') within a single text.
archaeology
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
25 peoples from 20 to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are the member of historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
whereas this number for the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
is 50.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
fit and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
have
slightly
more members with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
although they are
fairly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart give information how 20 to 30 and 45 to 60 year old people are interfare with 5 clubs shown bellow.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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