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The bar chart depicts the survey results in 5 cities of Australia about coffee and tea drinking and buying habits of their citizens.

The bar chart depicts the survey results in 5 cities of Australia about coffee and tea drinking and buying habits of their citizens. MBWao
The bar chart depicts the survey results in 5 cities of Australia about coffee and tea drinking and buying habits of their citizens. It is clearly seen from the bar chart that there is similar pattern across these 5 cities of Australia about their buying fresh coffee percentage in the last 4 weeks, because it is the least prefered among all citizens. In Sydney and Melbourne 40-45% city residents opt buying fresh coffee. While in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart the numbers drop further below 40% in all 3 places, Brisbane and Adelaide both have just below 35% of there people choosing to buy fresh coffee, whereas in Hobart the number is around 38%. Except Adelaide, every other city has buying instant coffee as their 2nd choice but in Adelaide it is the most prefered option with 50% people. However in Sydney and Melbourne it ranges between 45-49% and in Brisbane and Hobart it hovers between 52% to 55%. Unlike Adelaide, all 4 cities love to walk in to a café for some coffee or tea in the past 4 weeks, where Melbourne having the most percentage of people around 64%. Just below that Hobart withabout 63%, then follows Sydney with 61% and lastly Brisbane with a little above 55%. From the charts it’s obvious that buying fresh coffee is not prefered across all cities and drinking coffee or tea at a café is most chosen option among the masses except one anomaly.
The bar chart depicts the survey results in 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of Australia about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea drinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
habits of their citizens.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar chart that there is similar pattern across these 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of Australia about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
percentage in the last 4 weeks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the least
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
among all citizens. In Sydney and Melbourne 40-45% city residents opt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. While in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart the numbers drop
further
below 40% in all 3 places, Brisbane and Adelaide both have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 35% of
Did you mean "their"?
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, whereas in Hobart the number is around 38%. Except Adelaide, every other city has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
as their 2nd choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in Adelaide it is the most
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
option with 50%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in Sydney and Melbourne it ranges between 45-49% and in Brisbane and Hobart it hovers between 52% to 55%. Unlike Adelaide, all 4
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cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to walk in to a café for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea in the past 4 weeks, where Melbourne having the most percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around 64%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
below that Hobart
Possible spelling mistake found.
withabout
63%, then follows Sydney with 61% and
lastly
Brisbane with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 55%.

From the charts it’s obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is not
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
across all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea at a café is most chosen option among the masses except one anomaly.
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IELTS academic The bar chart depicts the survey results in 5 cities of Australia about coffee and tea drinking and buying habits of their citizens.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
242 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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