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The bar chart depicts the data about the waste of time on school day for students in three different countries namely the United Kingdom, Japan and Germany.

The bar chart depicts the data about the waste of time on school day for students in three different countries namely the United Kingdom, Japan and Germany. Overall, it can be seen that how much waste of time students for sleeping, studying and relaxing in 24 hour period. It is clear that the most of hours spent studying by Japanese students at just thirteen hours. Over time eight hours and nine hours in United Kingdom and Germany respectively. As bar chat indicates UK students waste the most time in sleeping, being equal to 8, 5 hours a day. In contrast, Japanese students spent much less time in bed, comparied with other nations students. Afterwards, the UK and Germany students similar waste time for relaxing in 7 hours a day. It can be concluded from the give information that the most educated students in three countries are Japanese students.
The bar chart depicts the data about the
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waste
of
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time
on school day for
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students
in three
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different
countries
namely
the United Kingdom, Japan and Germany.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that how much
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waste
of
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time
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students
for sleeping, studying and relaxing in 24
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hour
period. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most of
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hours
spent studying by Japanese
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students
at
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just
thirteen
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hours
. Over
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time
eight
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hours
and nine
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hours
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
and Germany
respectively
. As bar chat indicates UK
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students
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waste
the most
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time
in sleeping, being equal to 8, 5
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hours
a day.
In contrast
, Japanese
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students
spent much less
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time
in bed,
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparied
with other nations
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students
. Afterwards, the UK and Germany
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students
similar
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waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxing in 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day. It can
be concluded
from the give information that the most educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in three countries are Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart depicts the data about the waste of time on school day for students in three different countries namely the United Kingdom, Japan and Germany.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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