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The bar chart demonstrates the number of hours spent on entertainment in a normal week. Males and females from variant employment types were covered in the data in the period between 1998 and 1999

The bar chart demonstrates the number of hours spent on entertainment in a normal week. Males and females from variant employment types were covered in the data in the period between 1998 and 1999 kYWDN
The bar chart demonstrates the number of hours spent on entertainment in a normal week. Males and females from variant employment types were covered in the data in the period between 1998 and 1999. Overall, it is clear that the men and women who are unemployed or retired have the greatest leisure time. On the other hand, full-time employed women are the busiest with their work, hence have the least hours to entertain. Full-time employed males spend almost 45 hours a week to do the things they like. However, the unemployed and the retired have equally more than 80 hours as free time. Regarding females, full-time and employed women have nearly 38, 42 hours, respectively, during the week to spend on their hobbies and beloved activities. Nonetheless, the unemployed and retired females approximately spend the double number of hours on their leisure time compared to their other employed counterparts. Finally, housewives usually enjoy 55 hours throughout a week.
The bar chart demonstrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent on entertainment in a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. Males and females from variant employment types
were covered
in the data in the period between 1998 and 1999.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who
are unemployed
or retired have the greatest leisure time.
On the other hand
, full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
women are the busiest with their work,
hence
have the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to entertain.

Full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
males spend almost 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
to do the things they like.
However
, the unemployed and the retired have
equally
more than 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
as free time.

Regarding females, full-time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
women have
nearly
38, 42
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
,
respectively
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
to spend on their hobbies and beloved activities. Nonetheless, the unemployed and retired females approximately spend the double number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on their leisure time compared to their other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
counterparts.
Finally
, housewives
usually
enjoy 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
throughout a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart demonstrates the number of hours spent on entertainment in a normal week. Males and females from variant employment types were covered in the data in the period between 1998 and 1999

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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