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The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women

The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women Nrljy
The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women of various age groups in 2010. Overall, Austrailian men when they are young(ages 15-24) are more regular in physical activity and the Australian women who are in their late forties and early fifties (ages 45 to 54) are regular in physical activity. Whereas, the percentage of Australian men and women in age group 25 to 34 and 65 and over respectively were the least in regular physical activities. Also we can see that overall percentage of women’s doing physical activity is higher than that of males. We can segregate this graph in three sections Above 50% people, Between 40% to 50% people and below 40% people doing regular physical activities. So for the section of above 50% of people doing physical activity we can clearly see that women’s from 3 age groups (35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64) have surpassed with 52. 5%, 53. 3% and 53% respectively working out regularly. On the contrary males from only one age group that is 15 to 24 have surpassed it with 52. 8% of them doing regular workouts. The second segregation that was for people lying between 40% to 50% of population doing physical activity, The male members of the society have taken over with 4 age groups(25 to 34, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and 65 and over) with 42. 2%, 43. 1%, 45. 1% and 46. 7% respectively doing regular fitness activities. Whereas only women who were 65 and over fall under this category with 47. 1% of them doing workouts. The last segregation was for below 40% where only one male age group was confined. Austrailain men from 35years to 44 years were a little below 40% which made them fall in this category. Only 39. 5% of auustralian men from the above age group fall under this category.
The chart gives us information about the
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physical
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activity
done by
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Austrailian
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men
and
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women
of various
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age
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groups
in 2010.
Overall
,
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Austrailian
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men
when they are young(ages 15-24) are more
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regular
in
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physical
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activity
and the Australian
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women
who are in their late forties and early fifties
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(ages
45 to 54) are
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regular
in
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physical
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activity
. Whereas, the percentage of Australian
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men
and
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women
in
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age
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group
25 to 34 and 65 and
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over
respectively
were the least in
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regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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Also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
overall
percentage of
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women’s
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doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
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activity
is higher than that of males.

We can segregate this graph in three sections Above 50%
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people
, Between 40% to 50%
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people
and below 40%
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for the section of above 50% of
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people
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doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
we can
clearly
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see
that
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women’s
from 3
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age
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groups
(35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64) have surpassed with 52. 5%, 53. 3% and 53%
respectively
working out
regularly
.
On the contrary
males from
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only
one
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that is
15 to 24 have surpassed it with 52. 8% of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
workouts.

The second segregation that was for
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people
lying between 40% to 50% of population
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doing
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physical
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activity
, The male members of the society have taken
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over
with 4
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age
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groups(25
to 34, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and 65 and
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over)
with 42. 2%, 43. 1%, 45. 1% and 46. 7%
respectively
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doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
fitness
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activities
. Whereas
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only
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women
who were 65 and
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over
fall under this category with 47. 1% of them
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doing
workouts.

The last segregation was for below 40% where
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only
one male
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age
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group
was confined
.
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Austrailain
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men
from 35years to 44 years were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
below 40% which made them fall in this category.
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Only
39. 5% of
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auustralian
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men
from the above
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age
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group
fall under this category.
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IELTS academic The chart gives us information about the physical activity done by Austrailian men and women

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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