Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries.

The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries. QVM3K
The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data is measured in percentage. Overall, it seems that computer games remains the highest among all the other home activities also Board games and watching TV nearly have same proportion in every region. Apparently, reading opted by less population in given countries. Outrageously, the popularity of computer games is more in Ireland proportionately at 60% whereas the half of the population of England and Wales play computer games in free hour and about 40% in Scotland. The percentages of young people watching TV and Board games are merely showing any variance except in Scotland while almost one third of young people of England and Ireland have spent their time in watching TV. Moreover, the one tenth of the youngsters of Wales and Ireland shown less interest in reading however Scotland and England standing at 25% and 30% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions
namely
England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data
is measured
in percentage.

Overall
, it seems that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
remains the highest among all the other home activities
also
Board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and watching TV
nearly
have same proportion in every region.
Apparently
, reading opted by less population in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries.

Outrageously
, the popularity of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is more in Ireland
proportionately
at 60% whereas the half of the population of England and Wales play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in free hour and about 40% in Scotland.

The percentages of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching TV and Board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
merely
showing any variance except in Scotland while almost one third of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of England and Ireland have spent their time in watching TV.
Moreover
, the one tenth of the youngsters of Wales and Ireland shown less interest in reading
however
Scotland and England standing at 25% and 30%
respectively
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Olympics games since 1924 to 2012
    The chart and graph show information about men and woman who have participated in the Olympics games since 1924 to 2012. At the beginning, 1924, the rate of men against women was higher, 3000 participants was men and less 500 was women. In 1952, the rate of men was still higher and adding almost 1...
  • 6band
    The bar graph shows the percentage of young people of different countries in 2000, 2005 and 2010
    The bar chart elucidates the proportion of juveniles in secondary studies among four diverse nations in the year 2000, 2005 and 2010 representing black, red and blue colours respectively. Overall, it is state that the percentage of country A and country D has escalated exponentially from 2000 to 20...
  • 5.5band
    The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data measured in percentage.
    The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries. Overall, It is clear that the percentage of young people playing computer games at home was highest in all countries....
  • 6band
    Current duties/Responsibilities
    I am a technician in Earth's Science. Currently, my duties are geology, geophysics and geography. I have worked in laboratory analysis and survey, which I have trained those skills from Vietnam. I've completed many tasks and helped to write projects in geologic and geography that provide valuable da...
  • 6band
    Proposed research methodology
    In this subject a methodology for hazardous landslides, the using knowledge in physics and modeling them as a part of a disaster prevention and reduction procedure by landslides susceptibility and hazard maps is presented, based on analysis movements and determinant factors the flowing: First, revi...
  • 6band
    The following diagrams show international student enrolments at a university from 1975 to 2009.
    The following line graph illustrates the International students from five different continents registered at a university between 1975 and 2009, whilst the table shows the proportion of students’ homeland. The table shows the proportions of international students’ home region spread over the five c...





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries.