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The bar graph shows the percentage of young people of different countries in 2000,2005 and 2010

The bar graph shows the percentage of young people of different countries in 2000, 2005 and 2010 Vl0LD
The bar chart elucidates the proportion of juveniles in secondary studies among four diverse nations in the year 2000, 2005 and 2010 representing black, red and blue colours respectively. Overall, it is state that the percentage of country A and country D has escalated exponentially from 2000 to 2010. On the other hand, Country B had gradual decrease among the year, but the analogous figure can be seen for country C. It is evident from the bar graph that country A and country D had dramatic surge of 14% from 2000 to 2005, however country B had a slight decrease of only 5% and later on rose to 43% which means country B had maximum percentage of adult's education in 2010. Apart from that, just below a half of proportion had seen in 2000 for country C which ultimately shows no interest of higher learning in this country. Unfortunately, the ratio had upsurged by 6% and remained constant in 2010. In addition, youngsters's proportion had reached a peak of 62% for country A in 2010 while, solely 2% of rise had been seen for country D even though, reached maximum among all other countries.
The bar chart elucidates the proportion of juveniles in secondary studies among four diverse nations in the year 2000, 2005 and 2010 representing black, red and blue
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
respectively
.

Overall
, it is state that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
D has escalated
exponentially
from 2000 to 2010.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B had gradual decrease among the year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the analogous figure can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
C.

It is evident from the bar graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
D had dramatic surge of 14% from 2000 to 2005,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
B had a slight decrease of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% and later on rose to 43% which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
B had maximum percentage of adult's education in 2010. Apart from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below a half of proportion had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2000 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
C which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
no interest of higher learning in this country.

Unfortunately, the ratio had upsurged by 6% and remained constant in 2010.
In addition
,
Did you mean "youngster's" or "youngsters'"?
youngsters's
proportion had reached a peak of 62% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A in 2010 while,
solely
2% of rise had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
D
even though
, reached maximum among all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the percentage of young people of different countries in 2000, 2005 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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