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The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data measured in percentage.

The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data measured in percentage. 25PDj
The bar chart compares the proportion of young people doing four types of activities at home, namely computer games, reading, board game and watching TV in four different countries. Overall, It is clear that the percentage of young people playing computer games at home was highest in all countries. The figures for watching TV and playing board games were higher than the figures for reading activity. Ireland was the country having highest percentage of young people playing computer games at home, at around 60%, while the proportion of young people getting hooked on this hobby in Scotland was lower when compared with other countries, at 40%. The figures for reading activity in both Ireland and Wales were lowest figures, at only 10%, while the percentages of reading activity in Scotland and England were higher at 25% and 20% respectively. The percentage of young people in England, Ireland and Wales watching TV at home was equally, at 30%, while the figure for Scotland was 25%. The figure for board games in Wales was higher than the figures for this activity in other countries, at 30%.
The bar chart compares the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
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people
doing four types of
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activities
at home,
namely
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, board game and watching TV in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at home was highest in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
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figures
for watching TV and playing board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
activity.

Ireland was the
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country
having
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at home, at around 60%, while the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting hooked on this hobby in Scotland was lower when compared with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, at 40%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in both Ireland and Wales were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
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figures
, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in Scotland and England were higher at 25% and 20%
respectively
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in England, Ireland and Wales watching TV at home was
equally
, at 30%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Scotland was 25%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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figure
for board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in Wales was higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, at 30%.
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IELTS academic The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data measured in percentage.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The given graph depicts the comparison of youth pastime engagement in different regions namely England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. The data measured in percentage.