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The bar chart compares the proportion of the adults employed in various sectors between 2003 and 2013.

The bar chart compares the proportion of the adults employed in various sectors between 2003 and 2013. AwMBn
The bar chart compares the proportion of the adults employed in various sectors between 2003 and 2013. Overall, it is clear that the highest proportion of the adults employed recorded in business and medical sectors. In addition, the percentage of those working in the engineering, medical, and self-employed categories increased in 2013, compared with 2003 figures. As per information, in 2003, there was 16 percent of adults employed in engineering, and this figure was rose in 2013, accounting for 18 percent. Especially, there was a dramatic increase in employment in the medical sector, rising from 18 percent to over 25 percent in those years accordingly. In terms of self-employed, the percentage of the adults employed working went up from 10 percent in 2003 to 15 percent in 2013. In contrast, the proportion of those employed in the other categories witnessed a decline. In 2003, 30 percent of adults worked in business, compared with 12 percent in education and 9 percent in hospitality. By 2013, these figures had fallen to 26 percent, 5 percent, and 7 percent respectively. Finally, unemployment remained low at 5 percent of adults in 2003, declining to 3 percent ten years later.
The bar chart compares the proportion of the
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adults
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employed
in various sectors between 2003 and 2013.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the highest proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
recorded in business and medical sectors.
In addition
, the percentage of those working in the engineering, medical, and self-employed categories increased in 2013, compared with 2003 figures.

As per information, in 2003, there was 16
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
in engineering, and this figure was rose in 2013, accounting for 18
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percent
.
Especially
, there was a dramatic increase in employment in the medical sector, rising from 18
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percent
to over 25
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percent
in those years
accordingly
. In terms of self-employed, the percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
working went up from 10
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percent
in 2003 to 15
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percent
in 2013.

In contrast
, the proportion of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
in the other categories witnessed a decline.
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In
2003, 30
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
worked in business, compared with 12
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percent
in education and 9
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percent
in hospitality. By 2013, these figures had fallen to 26
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percent
, 5
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percent
, and 7
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percent
respectively
.
Finally
, unemployment remained low at 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
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adults
in 2003, declining to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
ten years later.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the proportion of the adults employed in various sectors between 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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