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The bar chart compares the amount of the electricity which was produced and used of ten countries in 2004.

The bar chart compares the amount of the electricity which was produced and used of ten countries in 2004. DYqMA
It can be clearly seen that most countries had in common was that the production of electricity was larger than its usage, there was only Germany being the country using more producing. In there, China and the United States were far higher than other nations. The production and consumption of electricity in China held the highest number being over 5300 billion kWh, followed by United States with 4099 billion kWh and 3866 kWh, respectively. Russia was the only country to have electricity production and consumption over 1000 billion kWh. A similar pattern was witnessed in five countries from Japan to Brazil with the corresponding order from 4 to 8, particularly the figures being slowly lower, in the range of 455. 8 to 936. 2 billion kWh. We can see a reverse trend in Germany being more usage than generation around 60 billion kWh. The last position was for Korea with the least amount of electricity in both production and consumption, only 485. 1 and 449. 5 billion kWh.
It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
had in common was that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
was larger than its usage, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Germany being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
using more producing. In there, China and the United States were far higher than other nations.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in China held the highest number being over 5300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh, followed
A determiner is probably missing here: "by the United States".
by United States
with 4099
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh and 3866 kWh,
respectively
. Russia was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and consumption over 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh.

A similar pattern
was witnessed
in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from Japan to Brazil with the corresponding order from 4 to 8,
particularly
the figures being
slowly
lower, in the range of 455. 8 to 936. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a reverse trend in Germany being more usage than generation around 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh. The last position was for Korea with the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and consumption,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
485. 1 and 449. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the amount of the electricity which was produced and used of ten countries in 2004.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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