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The first diagram compares the average household energy consumption in Australia while the second pie chart depicts the amount of Australian household greenhouse gas emission as the consequence of the first survey.

The first diagram compares the average household energy consumption in Australia while the second pie chart depicts the amount of Australian household greenhouse gas emission as the consequence of the first survey. KV3o6
The first diagram compares the average household energy consumption in Australia while the second pie chart depicts the amount of Australian household greenhouse gas emission as the consequence of the first survey. Overall, it clearly shows that heating, water heating and other appliances are dominant in terms of household energy consumption and greenhouse gas emission. Meanwhile, cooling and lighting contributions are not significant in Australian domestic energy use and its emission. Looking first at the amount of energy consumption in Australia. Heating stands at the most energy used in Australia since its figure is 42%. Followed by water heating with the second rank at nearly a third of the pie chart. The rate of other appliances accounts for 15% which is roughly twice than that of refrigerations. The difference between lighting and cooling is minimal with the former being 4%, 2% higher than the later. In terms of domestic greenhouse gas emissions. The proportion of water heating is 32% which registered the most emission in Australia and it doubles that of heating emissions. Refrigeration contributes 14% and compares to the figure for other appliances which was 28%. The percentage of cooling and lighting are 8% and 3% respectively.
The
first
diagram compares the average household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption in Australia while the second pie chart depicts the amount of Australian household greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
as the consequence of the
first
survey.

Overall
, it
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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heating
, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and other appliances are dominant in terms of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption and greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
. Meanwhile, cooling and lighting contributions are not significant in Australian domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and its emission.

Looking
first
at the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption in Australia.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Heating
stands at the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Australia since its figure is 42%. Followed by water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
with the second rank at
nearly
a third of the pie chart. The rate of other appliances accounts for 15% which is roughly twice than that of
Possible spelling mistake found.
refrigerations
. The difference between lighting and cooling is minimal with the former being 4%, 2% higher than the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
.

In terms of domestic greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. The proportion of water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is 32% which registered the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
in Australia and it doubles that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. Refrigeration contributes 14% and compares to the figure for other appliances which was 28%. The percentage of cooling and lighting are 8% and 3%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The first diagram compares the average household energy consumption in Australia while the second pie chart depicts the amount of Australian household greenhouse gas emission as the consequence of the first survey.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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