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The Bar Chart Below Shows the Top Ten Countries for the Production and Consumption of Electricity

The Bar Chart Below Shows the Top Ten Countries for the Production and Consumption of Electricity kLQV8
The bar chart illustrates the production and consumption of electricity by the top ten countries in 2014. Overall, it can be seen that the highest proportion of duction and consumption was made by china, while Korea. rep. ranked down to the least proportion for the same. To begin with, the highest proportion and consumption was by china which was 5, 398 (billion kwh) and 5, 322 (billion kwh) respectively. It showed that china consumed and produced the electricity was somewhat same. Talking about United States, proportion was a bit higher(4. 099 billion kwh) than the consumption rate (3, 868 billion kwh). Russia produced 1, 057 billion kwh and consumed almost the same proportion (1, 057 billion kwh), while japan decreased slightly in terms of producing and consuming electricity which was 936. 2 billion kwh and 856. 7 billion kwh respectively. on the other hand, it can be seen that most of countries have less than 700 billion kwh in both production and consumption of electricity except for the japan, India, china and United States.
The bar chart illustrates the production and
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consumption
of
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electricity
by the top ten countries in 2014.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the highest
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proportion
of
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duction
and
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consumption
was made
by china, while Korea.
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rep
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ranked
down to the least
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proportion
for the same. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the highest
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proportion
and
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consumption
was by china which was 5, 398
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(billion
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kwh
) and 5, 322
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(billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
)
respectively
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that china consumed and produced the
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electricity
was somewhat same. Talking
A determiner is probably missing here: "about the United States".
about United States
,
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proportion
was a bit higher(4. 099
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
) than the
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consumption
rate (3, 868
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
). Russia produced 1, 057
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
and consumed almost the same
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proportion
(1, 057
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
), while japan decreased
slightly
in terms of producing and consuming
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electricity
which was 936. 2
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
and 856. 7
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
respectively
.
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on
the other hand, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the countries") or simply say "most countries".
most of countries
have less than 700
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
in both production and
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consumption
of
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electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the japan, India, china and United States.
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IELTS academic The Bar Chart Below Shows the Top Ten Countries for the Production and Consumption of Electricity

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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