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The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

The chart ranked the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. The first two countries, China and the United States, made up the majority of electricity production and consumption. Stood at 5395/5322 and 4099/3866 billion kwh respectively. The following countries ranked between 3 and 5 has similar figure. On average, they produced 900 billion kwh electricity and consumed a little fewer than it was produced. For the countries ranked from 6 to 10. The production and consumption are both stood at a low level. All of these countries produced around 520 billion kwh electricity and consumed a little fewer than their production except Germany, the only country consumed more electricity than it was produced. (Germany consumed about 60 billion kwh electricity more than it was produced. )Generally, countries are typically able to produce enough electricity on their own. And the majority of electricity is consumed in particular countries.
The chart ranked the top ten
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countries
for the
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production
and consumption of
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electricity
in 2014. The
first
two
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countries
, China and the United States, made up the majority of
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electricity
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production
and consumption. Stood at 5395/5322 and 4099/3866
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billion
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kwh
respectively
. The following
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countries
ranked between 3 and 5 has similar figure. On average, they
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produced
900
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
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electricity
and
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consumed
a
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little
fewer than it was
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produced
. For the
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countries
ranked from 6 to 10. The
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production
and consumption are both stood at a low level. All of these
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countries
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produced
around 520
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
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electricity
and
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consumed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fewer than their
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production
except Germany, the
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only
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country
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consumed
more
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electricity
than it was
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produced
. (Germany
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consumed
about 60
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
kwh
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electricity
more than it was
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produced
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
Generally
,
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countries
are
typically
able to produce
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enough
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electricity
on their
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own
. And the majority of
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electricity
is
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consumed
in particular
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countries
.

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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